


You Miss The Chances You Don't Take (ON HOLD)

by Isamu



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: 1990s, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie POV (mostly), F/M, Highschool AU, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Eddie Kaspbrak, Language, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, No pennywise bc screw that guy, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Partying, Period Typical Attitudes, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Reddie Centric, Richie Toizer is oblivious, Slow Burn, Teenage Losers Club (IT), The Losers Club (IT) Stay in Derry, Underage Smoking, all other ships are minor, beverly marsh knows all, but he's not stupid, eddie takes time to come to terms, mean actions, mean words, physical and emotional bullying, richie hooks up, stanley uris also knows all, they're seniors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-11-26 14:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20931653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isamu/pseuds/Isamu
Summary: The summer has ended and the Losers club is thrown into their last year of high school.Eddie thinks it'll be a breeze before he realizes... Richie is kinda hot?(I'm bad a summaries, this is just a self indulgent "im sad fic". Just high school shenanigans and boys falling in love)3/28/20 - Hey all. This fic is on hold at the moment. I may or may not be coming back to finish it. I've kind of fallen out of the IT fandom but after rereading it I kind of want to finish it. Especially now that I have so much free time. Thanks for the support :)





	1. Chapter 1

Eddie turned over in his bed when his alarm went off, he groaned, pulling his pillow over his head and squishing his face into his mattress. It was the first day of his last ever year of highschool and _ hopefully _the last year he had to stay in the hellhole that is Derry, Maine. If he had to live with his Mother any longer he was going to rip his ears off then strangle himself. He couldn’t stand her manipulation anymore, but… that didn’t mean he was strong enough to fight back when he came face to face with her. He looked at the clock, pulling the pillow off of his head. It was 7:15, he had 5 minutes to get up before Sonia would bust into his room to make sure he was up and taking his daily medications. He had learned years ago that the pills were placebos, he didn’t take as many of them anymore but when they are physically shoved down his throat, what could he do? 

Slowly, Eddie swiped his legs out from under the covers and leaned them over the bed so his feet touched the cold floor below him. He pushed himself up and stretched his arms over his head, hearing his back crack slightly. With a yawn he walked into his bathroom, beginning his morning with a shower. About 10 minutes later he was already out of the shower, drying his hair and pulling on the clothes he had planned out the night before. Quickly, he stepped out of the bathroom, finished dressing himself, slipped on his tennis shoes, and grabbed his already packed backpack.

“EDDIE BEAR!” Came the loud screech from downstairs as his mother beckoned him. Eddie internally groaned and responded “Coming Ma!”. He swiftly made his way down the staircase, immediately taking a turn into the living room to where his Mother was sitting in her recliner, eyes glued to the ever loved television. Sometimes he wondered if she loved that damned thing more than she loved him. He gripped his backpack strap, why, after all these years, was he still afraid to be in her presence. He felt weak, as if no matter what he did, he'd just get locked up once again. He wasn’t even 18 yet, not legally allowed to leave her, it felt like stockholm syndrome. 

He paced over to her, placing a quick peck on her cheek. She gave him a sweet smile, things like that always made him feel as though she did care. He wished she could see things the way he did. He backed away after the little kiss, that was his payment for leaving, even if it was just for school. 

“You’ve taken your pills today, right Eddie Bear?” She asked from behind him. 

He turned to face her, now standing in the open frame between the living room and the section of the house containing the stairs and the front door, “Yes Ma, I did.” He patted his trusty fanny pack to assure her even more, “Plus I’ve got everything here in case I ever need it. Which I don’t. Because I’m fine.” He tripped up on his words, hopefully she’d leave it be. 

"Okay honey. Make sure to be conscious at school! And remember,” she shook a stern finger at him, “You come home as soon as the day is over.” 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and let out a small, “Yes Ma.” He took the moment of silence to slip out of the door. Eddie closed it quietly behind him and tried to focus on the positive while he walked to his bike. He’d be able to see the Losers again, after a full three days apart! He really didn’t know how he’d survive without them.

\----

Eddie pulled up to the bike rack at the front of the school. He spotted Bill and Stan’s bikes leaning on it already and placed his next to theirs. He checked his watch, 7:50, he had about 25 minutes before the first warning bell would ring. He gripped his backpack straps and made his way into the school building, pushing through the already forming crowd over to his locker. He wondered where his friends were, surprised that they hadn’t jumped him yet. He placed his backpack into the locker, only pulling out the books that he needed for his first class of the day. Science, which he knew he shared with Stan and Richie. They had all gone over their schedules three days prior, it was the last time they all hung out together before school started up again. He had Math with Ben, History with Bev and Mike, English with Bill, and Gym with Richie and Bev (what a match up huh). 

Once his books were settled into his arms, Eddie closed his locker with his free hand. He looked to the side and gasped. “Shit! Stan you fucking scared me. How long have you been standing there?” 

“Oh, sorry Eddie. I just got over here. I finished talking to Bill and saw you so I thought I’d come walk to class with you.” He said with a soft smile. It was nice to see Stan smiling, being with Bill must’ve put him in a good mood. 

“That’s why you’re so happy huh? Never thought I’d see Stanley Uris smiling before first period.” He joked, everyone knew that Stan had a little more than a friendship with Bill, even if it wasn’t official. Well, even if Bill couldn’t see the obviousness of Stan’s real feelings. 

“Haha very funny. You’re starting to sound like Richie.” Stan deadpanned, smile gone from his face, replaced with his normal resting face. 

“Oh I sound nothing like Richie, unlike him I’m speaking only the truth.” Eddie frowned, looking around a bit, “Where is he anyway?” He was a bit shocked they hadn’t been bombarded by the Trashmouth himself yet. 

Stan shrugged, “You know Richie, he’ll be making his grand entrance just as the bell rings.” 

“Hm, I guess so.” He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander around the crowds of students, looking for the familiar freckled face adorned with wild black curls. 

“Don’t worry about it Eddie, let’s just get to class.” Stan said, patting him on the back and ushering him towards the classroom. 

Once they arrived in the classroom Eddie made his way to his regular seat as Stan moved to the seat behind him. Normally, by this time, Richie would be beside him making stupid jokes but today Eddie could only stare at his empty seat. The bell finally rang and almost immediately Eddie turned to Stan, a bit of a nervous look on his face. 

“Do you think he’s okay?” Eddie whispered as to not disrupt the teacher who was beginning her lecture. 

“Eddie he’s fine, now focus or we’re both gonna get in trouble.” Stan retorted. 

With a little mumble to himself, he turned back in his chair and slunk down a bit. The only thing in his mind was if Richie had been stopped by Bower’s gang. He thought back to the last time they had seen Bowers, 

_ Eddie pushed the door of the Aladdin open, walking into the warm night air of July. Richie talking enthusiastically behind him. _

_ “Ed’s! Wasn’t that movie great? I never knew I could be so into animated lions. Like, really? Lions! And the part when Mufasa... died,” he whispered that part while scanning the area around them, “that made me cry, that was so evil. I saw you tear up a bit too Eddie Spaghetti. But who wouldn’t? You’d have to be some kind of heartless bastard.” He elbowed Eddie in the side. _

_ “Don’t call me that. And, no, I did not cry.” He frowned, he had cried but he wasn’t about to admit that. _

_ “Oh sure you didn’t Eds! I saw it. You look so cute when you cry.” Richie claimed with a smile on his face, leaning over to pinch Eddie’s cheek. _

_ Eddie pushed him off, trying to suppress his blush. Was that even a compliment? Nobody looks good when they cry. Suddenly, the moment was ruined, Eddie swore his heart stopped when he looked forward again only to see Bowers and his buddies stalking up to them. _

_ “Shit. Look who it is.” Richie’s smile faded as he whispered, standing a bit taller when Bowers and his group got to them. Of course they didn't let the two continue on their merry way because Henry Bowers fucking sucks. _

_ “What’s up fags? Where are your other loser buddies? You two just finish up a little date?” Bowers sneered, gaining a couple of snickers from Belch, Vic, and Patrick. _

_ At this point, Eddie was halfway behind Richie, bringing in slightly haggard breaths as his lungs acted up, anxiety peaking. He unzipped his fanny pack ready to bring his inhaler up to his lips at any time. But Richie stood tall eyeing up the older boys, they were all supposed to be graduated but none of them left town, plus Belch was held back anyway. _

_ “Yeah you say that like you don’t want a piece of this, Bowers.” Richie countered, egging the bullies on. _

_ “Rich, shut the fuck up.” Eddie hissed, that was it, he brought the inhaler up, taking a long breath in. _

_ “Listen to your boyfriend Toizer. The only peice of you I want is your fucking head on a silver fucking platter.” Henry growled, his switchblade clicked in his hand as he used the other the grab Richie by the collar of his shirt. _

_ Richie only let out a dry laugh, Eddie had never seen him so calm in the face of immediate danger. Eddie was about to say something when Richie turned his head slightly and sent him a little wink. A wink? What the fuck? Before he knew it Riche had propelled himself forward and smashed his forehead into Bower’s. _

_ “HOLY FUCK!” Was Bower’s response. Richie was escaped from his grasp and grabbed Eddie’s hand. He had blood dripping down his face and was obviously a little disoriented but he still spirited away, Eddie in tow like a deer in headlights. _

_ “What the shit Richie?!” Eddie yelled as they ran. He had just pissed Bowers the hell off, Eddie took a second to look behind them. They were being chased. Shit. _

_ Richie took a quick turn onto the residential streets and Eddie followed, their hands were still grasped together tightly as they ran down the middle of the road. Eddie was panicking as he heard Bowers and his gang yelling from behind them. They kept running for what felt like hours before making it to Richie’s house. Immediately Eddie slammed the door behind them and locked it. A couple seconds there were bangs and yelling at the door making Eddie pull out his inhaler once more. _

_ He turned to Richie, “That was so fucking dumb!” _

_ “Yeah, but we made it out of there right?” He smiled from the seat he had taken on the floor. _

_ Eddie sighed, putting his hand out for his friend, “I guess, let’s get that wound cleaned up or it’ll get infected.” _

Eddie sighed into the hand that kept his head propped up while he switched to ‘pay attention’ mode. He still couldn’t help but worry still, Bowers wasn’t happy that the two of them had gotten away that night. He could be lurking anywhere and since Richie was _ always _ late to school he rode alone most days. He continued the class period writing down half assed notes while glancing to Richie’s empty desk next to him then to the clock. The class was almost over, his best friend wasn’t showing up. 

As soon as the bell rang Eddie popped out of his seat and shoved all of his things into his backpack. He threw it over his shoulder and stood impatiently next to Stan’s desk as his fellow student took his sweet time packing up. 

“Stanley, I am seriously worried now! Richie could be dead in a ditch right now. He never skips his classes with me!” Eddie tapped on his friends desk anxiously. 

Stan rolled his eyes and exhaled quietly, placing his last book into his backpack, “Eddie, I’m telling you he’s fine. He’s probably smoking it up with Bev or something. He hasn’t been able to smoke with her in like a week. Or he slept in, it’s the first day of school.” He picked up his bag and started walking to the door, “I gotta get to my next period. We’ll see him at lunch.” He finished, completely walking away this time. 

Eddie stood in the doorway to the classroom, watching his friend’s form disappear into the crowd. He frowned and crossed his arms, he was still upset but that didn’t mean he could skip class, so he made his way to math class. Maybe he’d vent to Ben for awhile, he was always a good listener.

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie makes his appearance, bringing a surprise with him. Later, Eddie excels at dodgeball

_ _

Eddie nearly tripped on his way to lunch, math had gone quicky with Ben to talk to and now he was rushing the both of them to the cafeteria. 

“Eddie! Can we please slow down? It’s not like if Richie is there he’ll leave before you get there.” Ben looked down at his watch, “Lunch started literally 30 seconds ago. I know you-” 

Eddie skidded to a halt and put out a hand to stop him in mid sentence, shaking it a little bit, “I’m worried Ben! Didn’t you listen? Bowers coulda gotten to him while he was on the ride to school? This is serious!” He continued to walk after making his statement. He heard Ben sigh behind him, why were none of them as nervous as he was? Making a quick turn into the cafeteria Eddie immediately scanned the room thoroughly, past their normal table (where he did  _ not _ see Richie), to the lunch line, even to the other tables in hopes maybe he just got caught up talking to other random people. Eddie deflated once again with disappointment for not seeing his best friend anywhere, he looked back to Ben as the other boy gave him a slight comforting smile. They walked in silence to the table, Ben giving a smile wave and a smile in greeting as Eddie took his seat next to the empty place Richie would usually be. He placed is lunchbox on the table and slowly unzipped it as Ben took the seat next to Beverly who was on the other side of Eddie. He could feel their stares on him as he took out some of the contents of his lunch. He looked up to the three across from him, Stan sat in the middle of Mike and Bill, all of them giving him the same confused look. Well, not really Stan, Stan looked more disappointed that Eddie wasn’t over Richie’s absence. Suddenly he felt a pat on his back and glanced next to him. 

“What’s got you so down Eddie?” Beverly asked sweetly, a look in her eye that was genuinely concerned. 

“Well, it’s just that-” Eddie started.

“He’s being a weenie because Richie isn’t at school today.” Stan jumped in, gaining a glare from all the Losers. 

“H-Hey, I’m sh-sure he ha-has a reason to buh-be worried.” Bill stuttered, giving Eddie a slight smile, maybe to make up for Stan being rude. But it wasn’t anything Eddie wasn’t used to. Stan always spoke his mind.

“Continue, Eddie?” Mike said calmly from his seat, 

“Well, I’m being a ‘weenie’” He used air quotes around the word weenie as he spoke, “about this because last month after Richie and I went to see the Lion King we got jumped by Bower’s gang and got away. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bowers is plotting to kill both of us right now! So that’s why I’m so worked up! I haven’t seen Richie at all today, he’s usually in class. He wasn’t with any of you guys anytime right?” Eddie questioned them, glancing around the collective group. That question seemed to make the group stiffen a bit, now _ that  _ was concerning. 

“Guys..?” Eddie was now extremely nervous, “You haven’t seen him today right?” and in the moment, as soon as he finished his statement he heard a little ‘ahem’ from Stan, who was now pointing behind Eddie. He turned to see Richie standing near another table with some girl on his hip and a.. new shirt? It wasn’t hideous either. He actually looked pretty good in the plain black shirt with tight dark blue jeans, not that the jeans were new, Eddie had seen those jeans almost everyday of his life. Had he missed him when he scanned the room earlier? He was even more shocked when Richie leaned in and  _ kissed _ the girl, what the actual fuck. No way did Richie Trashmouth Toizer have a girlfriend. He turned back to the group slack jawed, Bev leaned over and closed his mouth for him. 

“Saw em’ together this morning. He skipped first period to go make out with her in the janitor's closet in the hallway no one ever goes through. I, uh, don’t think I’ve ever seen Richie publicly kiss anyone.” She explained, looking back to where Richie was still chatting with the girl. The rest of the Losers had nothing to say, not even Stan said a word, he even had a slightly surprised look on his face. 

“Oh, and now he’s walking over here.” Mike stated, he had a perfect view as Bev and Eddie both flipped their heads around to look at the table, making Ben giggle a little. Eddie could feel himself panicking, why was he panicking? Maybe because his best friend had just been swapping spit with some rando girl he’d never even heard of. 

“Yo! How are my best friends in the whole wide world doing today?” Richie cheered as he walked over to the table, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s shoulders as he sat down in his seat. 

“Y-you seem ha-happy today Richie.” Bill began the incoming spew of questions and comments on what they had just witnessed. 

“Yeah!” Bev punched his shoulder from around Eddie, ‘Who the hell was that girl?” Ah, there it was, didn’t take very long. 

Eddie snuck a glance at Richie’s face, his smile hadn’t faltered when the question was asked. He happily answered, “That is Amanda! My new girlfriend!” Eddie wished that was a joke and that the stupid smile on his face wasn’t genuine. 

“You’re kidding. Who the fuck would want to date you?” Stan said, crossing his arms, staring daggers at Richie. 

“Nope! Not kidding. She is my sweetheart, we went on our first date a couple days ago and it was better than I could have ever imagined! She’s amazing in-” Richie spoke but was cut off when Eddie shoved his arms away. He felt like his body was a volcano about to erupt, his heart was pounding and he couldn’t help but feel the whole weight of Richie’s arm around him. He felt… weird. 

“Richie, shut up.” Eddie spat, more aggressively than intended. He looked up to Richie, who now was not smiling. He took his gaze to the rest of the Losers who all sat in silence, they knew not to say anything when Eddie seemed angry, unlike Richie, who did not know when to shut it. 

“Hey now Eddie Spaghetti, I know your mom will miss our late nights but I mean your very own Trashmouth Toizer has just moved on and found another woman!” His smile crawled back onto his face, making Eddie frown even further. 

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Eddie hissed, grabbing his lunch and packing it up quickly before standing up and walking off without another word. 

“What’s his problem?” He heard Richie ask as he walked walked away from the table, received by a couple of groans from the other Losers. 

\-----

Eddie made his way to the gym after his art class, he tried not to think about what had happened an hour and a half ago as he walked into the locker room. He also forced himself not to turn right around when he saw Richie leaning next to his locker. He cringed inwardly, he didn’t want to have to explain himself, especially when he wasn’t sure exactly why he had gotten so angry in the first place. 

“Eds!” Richie greeted as Eddie stode up to his locker, silently putting in the combination and responding, “Hello Richard.” He deadpanned, reaching for his gym clothes. 

“Richard? What the fuck? Why are you being so weird? Is this about Amanda? Just because I have a girlfriend doesn’t mean I won’t have time for the Losers.” Richie frowned. 

“It’s- it’s not that.” Eddie said, trying not to break again. Why was he acting so strange? The feeling deep in his gut telling him he needed to be angry at Richie was making him upset in more than one way. 

“I don’t believe you, Eds. Are you… jealous?” The grin slipped back onto to Richie’s face as Eddie just stared at him. 

“Wha- Why would I be jealous?” Eddie could feel his face heating up, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fu- 

“Awh! Eds! Are you blushing? That’s so cute!” Richie grabbed his cheek, pinching it playfully, “Cute, cute, cute!” He exclaimed, “Your BFF ain’t going anywhere Eddie Spaghetti.” 

Eddie swatted at his hands with protest, eventually getting him to back off so Eddie could change into his gym clothes. He watched as Richie walked away thinking to himself,  _ why is my heart beating so fast?  _

Eddie walked out into the gymnasium, walking briskly to where Beverly and Richie were standing, they were both laughing hysterically. Probably about some stupid joke Richie had come up with, Bev always hyped his dumb jokes up. 

“Eddie! Any longer and you would’ve missed instruction. What took so long in the locker room?” Bev questioned as he walked up to his two classmates. 

“Oh, uhm, I got caught up with some stuff.” He glared at Richie, who was smirking like an idiot. 

“Stuff was it? I can’t believe you were bold enough to jerk-” Richie started with a laugh.

“Beep, Beep, Richie.” Both Eddie and Bev yelled. After that the three of them laughed together, it felt normal. For a second Eddie completely forgot about Amanda and how angry he had been. 

A whistle rang through the air, interrupting their laughing. The three turned around to look at the gym instructor, Mr. Klein. He was a middle aged man of a larger size, Eddie saw this man in his nightmares. He was absolutely terrible in so many ways. It was even worse because he was the assistant track coach. In an attempt to escape the thought of needing his inhaler Eddie had joined the track team his sophomore year. Surprisingly it went really well and he was one of their best runners but Mr. Klein never saw that, the only thing he saw from Eddie was the short shorts he was recognized for. The thought of it made it made him shudder and step slightly closer to his friends. Nothing had ever happened so there wasn’t much they could do about it but Eddie knew where his eyes wandered.

“Uhg, man, I hate that guy.” Richie whispered from behind Eddie as Mr. Klein spoke to the class, “Don’t know how he can still be a teacher here.” 

Beverly and Eddie nodded in response. Bev and Richie knew the extent of uncomfort Eddie had been through with Mr. Klein. He spoke to both of them about it in excruciating detail, it made him feel safer that they knew what was going on though. It was hard to keep Richie from punching the guy straight in the face sometimes, especially at track meets when Eddie would get coached by him. Eddie came back from his thoughts just in time to hear the activities of today’s class: Dodgeball. Oh, shit. He sucked complete ass at dodgeball. He might be fast but his spacial awareness skills were not great at all. He heard Richie and Bev highfive behind him with a couple of enthusiastic noises. He turned to them, they both looked extremely excited, they were good at dodgeball and they used it for revenge against their classmates. Eddie always thought it was funny how they would taunt the kids that they didn’t like or had problems with whenever something competitive rolled around in gym, Eddie was just glad to be on their side. 

The group made their way to the usual side they took during dodgeball, usually when they played they’d all be on the red team and it would always be Richie and Bev as the last people on the floor. Sometimes Eddie would step off just because he was overwhelmed with the game itself. But today he felt ready to play, he had been angry and hopefully he could channel that anger into throwing the large rubber balls at his peers. He let a little smile slide onto his face as he followed Bev and Richie. It didn’t last long though when Mr. Klein stepped in, putting out a hand to stop Eddie in his path.

“Kaspbrak. You’re on team blue today.” He said slowly, eyes moving down to the same short shorts Eddie always wore. He backed up, looking to his friends who had stopped as soon as they realized he wasn’t with them. 

“Hey, that isn’t fair Klein. Eddie is always on the red team with us.” Richie argued, Bev obviously ready to back him up. 

Klein shook his head, “Change is a good thing. Don’t talk back again or I’ll be seeing you in detention Toizer.” With that he walked away, to the bleachers, ready to referee the game. 

“He didn’t touch you did he?” Richie asked, walking back over to Eddie. 

“Oh, no. He didn’t. It’s fine guys. Being on different teams won’t change anything. I’ll be out in the first round anyway.” He was happy with the way Richie reacted, the seriousness in his voice made Eddie’s heart clench a little, but then again, Bev would’ve done the same. That’s just what friends do. He gave them a smile before walking to the other side of the court, this would be an interesting game. 

He made his way to the back of the group of students standing at the back of the court, voices chattering excitedly. Eddie hoped he could stay hidden long enough to not have to face off towards the end of the game and get out easily. It seemed as though Klein was being extra hawkish today which meant he wouldn’t be able to walk off before getting out. Without any other thought the sharp sound of the whistle blew through the air and the people at the front of both groups went sprinting for the balls in the middle of the court. Eddie watched with a grin on his face as Richie and Bev tag teamed on the other side, taking out their classmates one after the other. He swore they practiced together at home. 

The game flew by until there were only around four kids left on the blue team and three kids left on the red team. Eddie could see that his teammates were nervous but still somewhat cocky because of the number difference. He stayed close to the back corner of the court, watching silently as the balls flew across the room, voices loud and laughter filling the air. Eddie was almost zoned out before he heard someone yell “KASPBRAK”. He jolted from his thoughts just in time to see a ball zoom right past his head. Eddie dodged to the side even after the ball had gone past him, he watched it bounce past him and looked to the other side to identify the thrower. 

“Pay attention Eds!” Richie called from the red side, tossing a ball up and down in his hand rhythmically. Eddie glared at him from his side of the court. 

“It is so on Toizer! You’re going to regret throwing that!” Eddie yelled back, looking around before racing over to a ball and picking it up with both hands. He got back up and instantly ducked down as another ball flew over his head, as if he had just joined an active war zone. Next to him a ball took out one of his teammates, evening the score. He heard Bev laugh and looked up to see her high five Richie. The game went on like normal for awhile until it was just Eddie and one other teammate against Bev and Richie. He still held the ball he had picked up a while ago, he didn't know if it was against the rules but no one had yelled at him so he assumed it was still okay, he was just too nervous to use it. He looked at the ball in his hands and then to the other side where both Richie and Bev were both going to pick up a ball on each side of the court. He knew this move, they were going to stand and throw at the same time from both sides, it would for sure get them the win. Eddie didn’t want to take the chance, he pulled back his arm and catapulted the big rubber ball as hard as he possibly could across the room, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't hit someone. It was like slow motion as the ball traveled across the room and struck his target.

Eddie’s hands went to cover his mouth as the ball struck Richie straight in the gut, with all the power Eddie could muster put behind him. There was a loud ‘oof’ as the ball bounced off Richie and landed on the shiny gym floor. Eddie’s face broke into a smile and he laughed as he watched Richie grip his stomach and glare up at Eddie. Beverly was laughing along with him.

“I can’t believe that just happened!” She exclaimed. Richie had stood up and had a smile back on his face. 

“I can’t believe that happened either. Eddie Spaghetti, you sure got an arm. I can’t help but wonder where you got that left arm throw from.” He winked. Eddie blushed at the implication. 

“Toizer! Off the court.” Klein interrupted from the sideline. Richie shrugged and walked off, giving Eddie a little thumbs up. 

Eddie smiled at that, it was sweet. 

After that the game went on for what felt like a mere seconds while Bev pummeled both Eddie and his teammate into the ground. She took no time to take both of them out. First it was Eddie and then it was his teammate. The red team cheered about their win as the blue team talked about how they’d win next time. While it happened Eddie found his way back to Bev and Richie. 

“Rich! Are you okay? I can’t believe I actually hit you with a dodgeball.” He said. 

“Yeah! That was great Eds. Didn’t know you had it in you. You’ll have to bring that fire to the red team next time we have class!” He grinned, throwing his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. With that the three of them made their way out of the gym, talking about the amazing time they’d have next time they had to play dodgeball. Richie emphasizing how great Eddie’s throw was and Bev explaining how she saw it. Eddie smiled, listening to his friends lift him up. 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of weeks have gone by, Eddie is still confused about his feelings. Eddie's first track meet happens and he hears something he knows he shouldn't have
> 
> (Also I just remembered that Mike is homeschooled but shhhhh he's here anyway)

The long first week of school had trudged on and even as the end of the second week rolled around Eddie continued to try to sort out his feelings. He wasn’t even sure what was happening and it was so fucking annoying. It was just that every time he saw Richie it was like normal but when he would get close the world melted and Eddie’s heart started racing. He also could never explain the hot pool of anxiety and jealousy that formed in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw Richie with Amanda, whether it was them holding hands or stealing quick kisses it just  _ really _ irked him. In a way that had never come up before. He pushed it off everytime, reasoning with himself, telling himself that it was just the change of always being with Richie to kind of being the second choice. It stung but it was true that all Eddie was to Richie was his best friend. But apparently girlfriends become more important than best friends in the long run. 

Eddie kicked a little piece of eraser left on the worn down school tiles as he walked to his locker at the end of the day. Amanda had even sat between him and Richie at lunch earlier and if he hadn’t been pissed before he was now for sure. He just couldn’t get passed it, ripping his locker open after putting the combination in Eddie just ended up staring into it for a little, mind still racing. He had never been jealous when Richie would hook up with random girls before, why was this so different? Maybe because she was consistent? He couldn’t stand up his girlfriend like he could do to his hookups. Eddie broke out of his thoughts when he heard his name from down the hall. 

“Eds!” Richie called as he pushed past the excited people ready to leave the school crowding the hallway. Eddie watched him silently until he got all the way over to the locker and bent down, placing his hands on his knees and catching his breath. 

“Did it really take all your breath to get over here?” Eddie questioned. 

“Of course Spaghetti! That was a lot of energy, you should be happy that I put in all the effort for you!” Richie explained. 

_ Yeah, all the effort you put in for me,  _ Eddie thought to himself bitterly. Richie was talking at hyperspeed and Eddie’s half lidded, not paying attention gaze, must’ve put him off because he stopped him in his tracks and waved his hand right in front of Eddie’s face.

“Earth to Captain Wheezy, I’m trying to tell you all the plans for this weekend.” Richie said as Eddie swatted his hand away from his face. He tried not to frown, but it was hard to be happy when he felt so upset. 

“I was listening Richie I swear, I just- we have practice before the meet tonight. I’m a little preoccupied.” Eddie pulled up the quickest excuse he could find. It wasn’t a lie that he did need to go to track practice but it definitely wasn’t what he was thinking about. 

“I can see that..” Richie said, voice low and disappointed. Eddie could swear he could  _ hear  _ his own heart crack a little bit as Richie’s metaphorical puppy tail would’ve stopped wagging. He internally cringed. This was his best friend. He couldn’t be so cold. It was wrong to be so selfish. 

“Sorry Rich. I’m just worried. My times haven’t been as good as usual and you know how Klein gets on me about that shit.” Eddie searched for an excuse, giving a weak smile. 

The frown on Richie’s face turned back into a grin, but not like his normal sly smile, it was sweeter and more understanding than usual. He suddenly threw his arm around the smaller boy, barely giving Eddie any time to grab his bag and close his locker. 

“Richie! I wasn’t done with my locker!” He pushed at his friend, who didn’t budge. 

“It’s all good Eds! We gotta get you to practice. I’ll be there to support you at the meet tonight, but you already knew that, when am I  _ not _ in the stands cheery for my BFF. Anywho, now I know you hafta focus on those times of yours, can’t be lettin’ down the team Spaghetti,” He stopped mid rant to pinch Eddie’s cheek, “I know I can be a distraction and all when you're out there, just can’t keep those baby browns off me.” He ended the whirlwind of words with a quick wink and click of his tongue. 

Eddie was left speechless, all he could muster was a flustered scoff. Richie walked him all the way to the locker room before bidding him farewell, of course with a bad british accent and a little bow. Eddie then stood in silence watching his best friend exit the locker room; now wondering why he was in such a hurry to get the other to his practice. Usually Richie would be practically begging Eddie to skip so they could read comics or go down to the quarry with the other Losers before the summer weather went away. He shrugged it off, deciding that he didn’t want to make himself worry over nothing again. He began to get ready as the shrill squeal of a whistle rang through the room, creating a stir within as Eddie’s teammates made their way to the field. He was jolted out of his thoughts as he quickly put on the rest of his practice outfit, shoving the rest of his stuff in his locker before jogging out to the field. 

As he made his way outside he could already see that everyone had gathered up by the coaches, Eddie assumed they were sharing tonight's game plan, not there was much of one since every one kind of did their own thing. Eddie, for one, was a sprinter, his ongoing battle (mental or not) with his asthma kept him from doing long distance. He was probably the worst paced person on the whole team. He shuffled his way in with the other sprinters as they stood on the outer side of the group of students. He listened quietly to the end of the spiel of Coach Jesse, he was nice, very supportive. Almost the complete opposite of Coach Klein. Coach Jesse clapped his hands together at the end of his speech before telling the team to disperse and begin working on their personal workouts. 

Eddie sighed, he didn’t hate practice all the time but today was one of those days that he wished he was hanging out with his friends. It was hot, way too hot to be September in Maine, he could feel the sweat dripping down his face as he finished his third rep of suicides. He glanced to the rest of his teammates, hopefully it would cool once the sun went down a bit. Eddie  stretched him arms over his head and walked off to get a sip of water from the outdoor fountain by the bleachers. 

“Hey. You’re Eddie Kaspbrak right?” A sudden voice began behind him. He stood up from his half bent posture at the water fountain, turning to put a face to the new voice. His heart dropped when he saw who it belonged to. Amanda. What could she possibly want? He wasn’t about to talk to her about Richie. He really didn’t want to snap at her and with the short fuse he’d had lately, he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop himself. 

“Yes… I am.” He responded, taking in a slow breath, “and you’re, uh, Amanda. Richie’s girlfriend. Nice to meet you formally I guess.” He held out his hand.  _ Play nice Kaspbrak _ he told himself. 

She looked slightly confused for a second, “Oh, yeah. I am. Sorry I forgot you two know each other.” She continued with a small smile. That statement did not help her case, in any sense that made Eddie dislike her even more. He wanted to be protective and insensitive. Biting back the feeling that Richie was his first. His  _ friend _ first. Not his, that’s weird. It was weird to be so protective and Eddie knew it so he kept his mouth shut about it. 

“Yeah, uhm, we’ve known each other for awhile now..” Eddie said as he thought,  _ almost 10 years now, thank you very much _ , but he didn't say that, he just hoped she’d catch onto his tone of voice. 

“Well, just wanted to say hi. Thought I’d introduce myself since we’re both on the track team and we’ll be seeing each other more often. See ya later Eddie.” She said her goodbye with a little wave as she left to continue practice. He watched her go. She gave him strange vibes for sure, so seemingly sweet. He shook his head, he had things to focus on. Real things to focus on. He took another quick sip of water before stepping back onto the track. 

\------

The night came faster than Eddie had expected. He had little time to go home and prepare himself for the meet. He changed from his earlier outfit into his tracksuit, consisting of his bright red track shorts and a matching red and black tank top. He grabbed his drawstring, stuffing in a water bottle, a cliff bar, his inhaler, and a red sweatband. After that he pulled on his sneakers and rushed down the stairs, slinging his bag onto his shoulder.

“Mommy. I’m going to the track meet.” He said quietly, turning the corner into the living room to find his mother still sitting in her Lazy-boy. 

“Do you have your inhaler Eddie Bear? You know I hate this sport, I just ask that you keep yourself safe. This is only to boost your college resume.” She sounded like she was just reassuring herself that letting him be on the team was okay. He didn’t say anything, one wrong move and he’d be locked in his room for the rest of the night. He simply nodded and pulled the inhaler out of his bag, he closed the space between them and kissed her on the cheek. 

“I’ll be back before curfew.” He said softly as he backed out of the living room and placed a nervous hand on the door handle. She nodded and looked away from him, signaling to him that it was safe to leave the house. Eddie pushed the door open and shut it gently behind him, he hopped off the porch and grabbed his bike, furiously peddling to the school once more. 

By the time he got there everything was already set up. The bleachers were full of students and parents from both Derry High and the opposing high school, Westside High, he believed they were called. The track was lit up with the large, blinding lights, surrounding the football field even before the sun had fully gone down. He checked his watch as he walked over to the bleachers, it was only 6 o’clock. He had to be home by 11, luckily his events were usually close to the beginning of the meet. He was just worried about Richie or his other friends trying to keep him overtime. He easily spotted all of the Losers messing with each other up in the stands. An easy smile fell over his face as he saw all his friends here to support him in his first meet, that’s when they usually came, after the first meet it became a bit more sporadic. There was one problem though, a certain somebody was missing. Richie. Again. His smile wavered a little but he continued forward to greet his buddies. 

“Hey! Eddie! You’re late! We’ve been here for like ages now!” Bev said rather enthusiastically as she leaned over the banister at the edge of the bleachers. She was obviously a little drunk, not enough to be noticed by others but Eddie knew exactly how to figure out if she was. 

“Yo Bev.” He smiled, walking up to the edge of the bleachers, putting his hands up so she could hold them. She took them gleefully with a bright smile. He turned his attention to the others.

“How goes it fellow Losers?” He asked, “Any more of you under the influence?” 

Bill raised his hand a little with a small giggle, leaning his head on a surprised looking Stanley. Mike sat next to them with a knowing look, but he turned to Eddie to give him a welcoming smile. Ben had said a quick hello as he pulled Beverly a little, taking her away from swinging over the ledge a bit. 

“You ready to kick some butt Eddie?” Mike said encouragingly. He was good at that, he always knew what to say to make Eddie feel as though he could do anything. 

“Of course.” Eddie gave him a double thumbs up, also getting a couple cheers from Bill and Bev. He looked around, immediately catching Stan’s attention.

“Richie went to find Amanda. Said he had some important business to attend to.” Stan supplied. 

“Yeah, b-business. Puh-Proably making out with h-her under these very buh-bleachers or s-something.” Bill happened to stutter and slur at the same time from beside Stan. 

Eddie frowned a little, willing himself not to duck down right now and check under the bleachers right there in that moment. He sighed and looked to his teammates gathering plus an angry looking Coach Klein staring him down. 

“Well, tell him I say hi and I’ll see him later. I gotta go.” Eddie said, slowly moving to go over with the rest of his team. 

“Whoohoo! You got this Eddie!” Beverly cheered, instantly cheering Eddie up once again. 

He turned from his friends and jogged to the cluster of his teammates. They did a small cheer before breaking apart and getting ready for the events to start. Eddie spent most of his time cheering on his friends from the field, waiting for his event to start. Around 20 minutes had passed and he noticed that there was still no sign of Richie. Or Amanda for that matter. He had noticed that the petite blond was nowhere to be found when the meet started. They weren’t really making out under the bleachers, were they? Eddie thought to himself for a little before his better judgement was clouded. He needed to know. He tapped one of his teammates, telling them that if anyone asked he had gone to the bathroom. The porter potties were right next to the bleachers, giving a clear line of sight into the dark underside of them. No one ever really went to the ones in the area though because it was just easier to go inside since the school was unlocked. Eddie gulped as he walked to the dark corner by the fence, he stayed in the shadows, not wanting to be caught. He didn’t have to walk far before he heard voices coming from under the bleachers. He stopped in his path, hiding behind the nearest porter potty. He listened, and hell, he felt like the shittest friend out there. He shouldn’t be doing this. He peeked from his spot behind the big plastic box, spotting two figures in the dimly lit space. It was definitely Richie and Amanda he could make out their voices no problem, even though they were whispering. 

Amanda sounded angry as she whisper-shouted at Richie. Eddie couldn’t make out to many words but he did hear “this isn’t” and “plan is stupid” ending with a frusturated sigh. Eddie didn’t stay for Richie’s response, he couldn’t. The guilt was eating at him already. Spying on his best friend while he fought with his girlfriend? Really? He couldn’t justify that. Not in a million years. So he went back to the meet. When he got back to the field he turned to see that Richie was joining the rest of the Losers and Amanda was getting ready for her event. He made eye contact with Richie, who gave him a large smile and huge wave. Eddie waved back with a small smile, guilt still creeping up on him. 

_ But what had they been talking about?  _ Eddie thought to himself as his first event was called. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one! Earlier post than I thought it was going to be. Sorry for the wait, school got busy there for a second. Hopefully the next chapter will come along quicker!
> 
> Check me out on Instagram and Tumblr @kikichibee!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to leave comments, feedback, and kudos! :)


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